Wednesday, June 20, 2012

A Wise and WayWard Sand-Wich

Wise Woke me this a.m. “Why are you Working so attentively at What makes you feel Worth less?”
And WayWard answered. “We Will help With finding your Way.”
“My Way?” I asked. “Way Where?”
“Why, to the Who you Were,” answered Wise.
art by Cruzeiro Seixas
“Oh, Will you please? I  am Weary, Weak and Witless With loss.”
WayWard Winked. “That is Why We are here.”

Wise said, “Where are you Wanting to go, girl?”
I had to stop and ponder, I’d so Whittled my path a-Way.
WayWard re-Worded, “Where Were you going, girl?”
“To Write!” I proclaimed. “I Was going to al-Ways Write!”
“What are you Waiting for?” asked Wise.
“I Wonder…” WayWard mused, “have you Wasted all your Words?”
I stopped to think. W-once more.

“Writing is playing Witty, Whimsical Word games,” I said. “It is fun. But the networking, publicity WhirlWind is impossible, unmanageable and therefore real Work and no fun.”
WayWard Wisecracked and Wise s-Wore.
While I Was Whispering self-justifications, WayWard and Wise proved me afraid and a fraud… A Writer Who forgot to Write.

No longer Woeful, I’m now sq-Wished between WayWard and Wise and W-once again a Whole sand-Witch.


Friday, June 15, 2012

Shinin' On My Phobias

With the arrival of summer, at last, comes a cornucopia of phobias, both old and new. In the admission that yes, I do suffer phobias, I am fighting my instinctive Phobophobia (fear of phobias) and keeping my spirit on alert. You may want to watch for signs of suffering near you this season:

1.     Aerophobia (fear of swallowing airborne toxins)

2.     Nudoknotta-phobia (fear of string bikinis)

3.     Aphiddaphobia (fear of aphids)

4.     Ashiva-phobia (fear of air conditioning)

5.     Chiroptaphobia (fear of bats)

6.     Asplasha-phobia (fear of mermaids)

7.     Dermaslasha-phobia (fear of shaving legs)

8.     Ompholamucha-phobia (fear of belly button rings)

9.     Slatha-phobia (fear of sunscreen)

10.   Kosmikophobia (fear of cosmic phenomenon)

11.   Blennophobia (fear of slime)

12.   Havtagoa-phobia (fear of stopping play in order to pee)

13.   Sloppa-phobia (fear of dripping ketchup)

14.   Exposa-phobia (fear of falling out of swimsuits)

15.   Grossamundo-phobia (fear of older men in thongs)