Monday, July 2, 2012

The comedy of editing…

(I posted this last week on Montana Romance Writers blog but having just finished edits on final proofs of Smitten Image, am adding an Amen as an addendum!)

A lot of writers I know are in the process of editing right now. This ungentle, unintentionally uninspiring process is a love/hate relationship for most of us. If we’re still sane. So… here’s to having some fun while marching to the military drum of your dictatorial left brain.

You’d rather be editing because:

  1. It’s housekeeping without having to clean bathrooms.
  2. You only need pretend fins and snorkel to navigate the deep water.
  3. “Swamp People” reruns get old really fast.
  4. It’s a great excuse for doubling up on your drug (drugs) of choice.
  5. The pool boy thinks you’re not home and strips down to speedos.
  6. Grammatical monsters are simply rhetorical.
  7. You have a good excuse not to watch Wimbledon for the strawberries and cream (and a glimpse of Prince Harry.)
  8. Syn-tax can be taken with alcohol.
  9. It’s Sudoku for the right brain and, like Scrabble, counts as exercise.
  10. The cut and paste function is in code you don’t have to understand, ever.
  11. You glow during every “pregnant” pause.
  12. You may feel like you know diddly, but in your Iron Man jammies you are a super-hero.
  13. Attitude is nine-tenths of the sum total divided by the parabola but not equal to 0.
  14. The most interesting man in the world is not the one doing television commercials.
  15. Too soon you’ll be back teetering on the creative edge.

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